What I’ve Learned as a Stay-at-Home Mom

I’m currently touring schools to decide where my second & last child will attend VPK. The realization that after VPK, he will go off to kindergarten has me reminiscing over the years I spent home raising littles. It’s a big ball of emotion and I feel led to share what I’ve learned as a stay-at-home mom in hopes that it brings encouragement to the mom who is in the early stages of this sweet life.

One day you’ll look back and realize that these days were the best days. And I wouldn’t trade the time I had home with them for anything in the world, despite even the hardest of days.

I was raised with full time working parents & when we weren’t in school, my brother and I spent our days in the care of my grandmother, day care or after care. However, when it came time for my husband and I to start a family, I was certain, I wanted to be home with our kids. So I left my career behind and dove into the unexpected world of stay-at-home mom life.

I have two sons, 8 years apart, so I feel like I got two shots at somewhat similar but different experiences for the early years. I’m certainly no expert, but in hindsight & for what it’s worth, here’s what I’ve learned.

Stay-at-home Mom Life

If you’re reading this, chances are you’re also a SAHM or maybe you’re considering it. If you have been for some time then I’d bet we’ve battled some of the same deception.

How about “I need more in my life, something I can call my own and feel a sense of accomplishment for.” Or “I’m so tired of doing the same thing every single day.”

Yes, SAHM life is redundant, most of the time it feels miniscule to getting dressed up, working 9-5 and having a fat paycheck in return. I’d bet that at some point you’ve even envied the working mom or even resented your working spouse. Perhaps you’ve uttered the words to your spouse “you have it so easy, you have no idea what it’s like!”

Yeah, I’d say most of us have been there.

Being a SAHM is a job in itself & maybe approaching it that way will allow you to take some pride in it. The cooking, cleaning & the utter selflessness of putting the needs of your home & kids first, every single day. For some of us it feels like groundhog day, maybe even a bad one. Then there’s the appreciation factor or lack thereof.

And most of us have heard it before, “oh, you just stay home.” As if there’s a lack of value in what we do. You can’t control what others think about something they’ve actually never done. Remember that.

You might like “How to live your calling as a stay-at-home mom”

This is the part that really gets me though. If your husband is anything like mine, he’s an incredible man who puts his family first. He works his tail off in a high stress level job wishing he was home instead.

Then he walks in the door at the end of a long hard day to what should be his sanctuary, where he’s welcomed with open arms but the world will tell you to angrily and bitterly hand your kids off to him saying, “now its your turn, I’ve been doing it all day.” Sadly, how our kids must feel when they hear those words.

My husband wasn’t the lucky one who got to go to work every day, I was the blessed one. Together, we are fortunate.

The truth is, those redundant days are the most important days of your child’s life. They’re the best days, cuddled up to mama on the couch for morning cartoons, building blocks together and taking walks. Our weekly grocery shopping trips, visiting the library on hot summer days & special little adventures.. hold on, I’m crying.

They don’t stay little forever. My oldest son is about to turn 13. Once upon a time he too was my little buddy, my best friend. But he grew up, as he should. And our relationship is different, age appropriate. But I still remember when he needed me like Atlas needs me now. When he looked at me like I was his absolute in life. These days are priceless.

You might like “My best friend is a toddler”

But because the fruit of your labor isn’t always obvious, it’s hard to feel like what you’re doing is purposeful; unless you choose to see it while you’re in the thick of it.

Ministry of Motherhood

As SAHM’s we create a rhythm for the function and tone of our home, which takes work and intention. We get to work with and serve the most important people in our lives. And it’s truly been my life’s greatest blessing. Although I didn’t always realize it.

I’ve learned that like with anything, its our perspective that makes the difference. Having the right perspective can dictate our attitudes and our actions. If being a SAHM is the decision you’ve made then I want to encourage you to do it well. I didn’t always do it well and I still have my moments. But our kids are the most gracious, merciful, forgiving, loving kids & worth every ounce of the energy you give.

Don’t get stuck feeling bad about yourself, every day we have the opportunity to adjust and change course. And that mama that appears to be doing such a better job than you, she has hard days too, it comes with the territory.

I’ll never forget the day that changed my perspective. I heard a word of encouragement at women’s bible study about women’s role in the home. The speaker painted such a beautiful representation of a wise, loving & gentle spirit. One who saw purpose beyond the tired, monotonous days. Perhaps similar to a Proverbs 31 woman. That’s when I decided I was capable of walking the path Jesus intended for my own home. I ought not be selfish, ungrateful and bitter. Rather intentional about the attitude, tone and functionality of the home and family I’d been blessed with.

As Christian women, our example is Jesus. Matthew 20:28 tells us that Jesus did not come to be served but to serve.

An excerpt from Enduring Word says: Real ministry is done for the benefit of those ministered to, not for the benefit of the minister. Many people are in the ministry for what they can receive (either materially or emotionally) from their people instead of for what they can give.

Remember this verse, perhaps put it on your fridge:

Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward. You are serving the Lord Christ. Colossians 3:23-24

As wives and mothers, we are the heart of our home. When we claim the title stay-at-home mom, we enter into a very special ministry. This ministry involves intentional planning for the overall function and atmosphere of our home. But most importantly raising and loving our babies and toddlers well; building their character and implementing God’s truth.

Utilize your time well because it won’t last forever.

I don’t want my kids to look back one day and remember a grumbling mom. I want them to remember a smiling mom who loved being with them. One who managed her time & resources wisely. Most importantly, one who showed them Jesus.

Our kids are not a disturbance from more important matters.

I’d like to end with a quote from @wildstylefamily inspired by Luke 18:16

Next time your child wakes up early from a nap and interrupts your personal time hold them tight, thank God and remember “the Kingdom of God just climbed on your lap”

But Jesus called them to him, saying, “Let the children come to me, and do not hinder them, for to such belongs the kingdom of God. Luke 18:16

Bible verses to encourage moms

Do everything without grumbling or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, “children of God without fault in a warped and crooked generation.” Then you will shine among them like stars in the sky as you hold firmly to the word of life. And then I will be able to boast on the day of Christ that I did not run or labor in vain. Philippians 2:12-16

The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down. Proverbs 14:1

“She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.” Proverbs 31:26

A kindhearted woman gains respect. -Proverbs 11:16

Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised. – Proverbs 31:30

And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up. – Galatians 6:9

How happy is everyone who fears the Lord, who walks in His ways! You will be happy, and it will go well for you… You…will see your children’s children. -Psalms 128:1-2, 5-6

Teach us to number our days, that we may get a heart of wisdom. -Psalm 90:12

“Her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: ‘Many women have done excellently, but you surpass them all.'” Proverbs 31:28-29

“And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise.” Deuteronomy 6:6-7

“You should be known for the beauty that comes from within, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is so precious to God.” 1 Peter 3:4

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.” 1 Corinthians 13:4-7

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.” Galatians 5:22-23

“Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves.” Romans 12:9-10

“Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward.” Psalm 127:3

“How good and pleasant it is when God’s people live together in unity!” Psalm 133:1

In the monotony of motherhood, we need an anchor for our souls and encouragement for our days as we raise our kids up in the way they should go. Visit the Motherhood Archives here.

God didn’t intend for your home & family to suck you dry. He intended for you to nurture and care for it well & bring glory to His name. Whatever you’re lacking, is found in Him. And if you need specific prayer for this, please reach out to me, I’d be honored to pray specifically for you.