Honoring Your Husband as the Head of the Home

A father’s intuition is just as significant as a mother’s. And although I haven’t always felt that way; I’ve learned that honoring your husband as the head of the home is something God calls us to. It’s through this willful submission that my family has blossomed in ways only the Lord could have predicted. I’ve seen that my husband is just as well equipped and although sometimes we have different ideas on how things should be done, we agree on the same end-result regarding what’s best for our home.

It’s definitely taken a huge amount of faith to trust my husband as the head of the home. Not because he can’t be trusted but because it meant I had to relinquish control. Relinquishing control doesn’t mean that I don’t have a voice in our home, in fact it’s quite the opposite. My voice has become the other half of his and my strengths compliment his weakness’s and vice versa. But ultimately, it means that I trust my husbands discernment.

I know words like submission can really make some women’s shoulders tense & heart hard. It’s important to understand that biblical submission is not oppression or slavery, rather it’s a dignified role. It’s a role of unification, as we honor our husbands as the head of the home, they love us as Christ loves the church (see Ephesians 5) and together we accomplish what’s best for our home. We both learn and grow as well in this process, for without the guidance of the Holy Spirit, it would be impossible. But when we look at the scriptures, we see that submitting to your husband isn’t what comes to mind at first glance. It’s God’s design of marriage and it’s fruitful.

Husband is the Head of the Home

I love the correlation between family roles, such as, the husband is the head of the home, in relation to biblical church roles, such as, Christ is the head of the church. Certainly God knows more than we know and His ways are higher than our ways, so let’s take a look at this topic in a brief overview and let’s begin directly in the scriptures.

But I want you to know that the head of every man is Christ, the head of woman is man, and the head of Christ is God. 1 Corinthians 11:3

“In this verse, Paul describes the “headship” relationships & makes it clear that God has established principles of order, authority, and accountability.

The idea of headship and authority is important to God. In His great plan, one thing God looks for from man is voluntary submission. This is what Jesus showed in His life over and over again, and this is exactly what God looks for from both men and women, though it will be expressed in different ways.

It is essential to understand that being under authority does not equal inferiority. Jesus was totally under the authority of God the Father, yet He is equally God. When God calls women in the church to recognize the headship of men, it is not because women are unequal or inferior, but because there is a God-ordained order of authority to be respected.” – Enduring Word Bible Commentary

Husbands, love your wives just as Christ loved the church. Ephesians 5:25

Scripture calls wives to submit under the headship of a loving husband. A husband who loves his wife just as Christ loves the church will always show that love as mentioned before. We call the love of Christ agape, which is undeserving, sacrificial & unconditional, it’s not tyrannical or overbearing.

Bible verse: Marriage-Christ and the church

“Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord.  For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body.  Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything.

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her,  that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish. 

 So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself.  For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church.  For we are members of His body, of His flesh and of His bones. “For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.”  This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church. Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.” Ephesians 5:25-33

Bible verse: Qualities of a sound church

“The older women likewise, that they be reverent in behavior, not slanderers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things—that they admonish the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, homemakers, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be blasphemed.” Titus 2:3-5

Bible verse: Submission to husbands

“Wives, likewise, be submissive to your own husbands, that even if some do not obey the word, they, without a word, may be won by the conduct of their wives, when they observe your chaste conduct accompanied by fear. Do not let your adornment be merely outward—arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel— rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God. For in this manner, in former times, the holy women who trusted in God also adorned themselves, being submissive to their own husbands, as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord, whose daughters you are if you do good and are not afraid with any terror.

Bible verse: A Word to Husbands

Husbands, likewise, dwell with them with understanding, giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered.” 1 Peter 3:1-7

Honor Your Husband

I’ve seen marriages end & homes fall apart because the wife is so stuck in her ways that she gets the final say and suppresses her husbands voice. (Yes, this post is geared towards controlling wives, that which, I once was) One thing I’ve learned in 22 years of marriage is that how I see things isn’t always the final say. I married a man who has different perspective & convictions than I do at times & giving full consideration of his perspective is one way that I respect him and honor him as the head of our home.

See, division in the home is created when we are so hell bent on our own perspective that we don’t give room for our significant other to express theirs and when we don’t take their perspective into consideration. This looks like, but not limited to, how we spend our time, money & how we discipline our kids. You know, the “my way or highway” mentality.

I’ve learned that the combination of both of us communicating and relying on God first, then each other is what unifies us and our home. I’ve grown to trust my husband even when my instincts are different and today I just ask that you look at the scriptures and pray God would reveal to you how to honor your husband as head of the home.

Since God designed marriage, we can trust His perfect Word to be applied to our marriages.

If you enjoyed this post, I strongly recommend you also read “Every house divided against itself will not stand”.