Motherhood is hard

Being a mother is hands down the hardest job I’ve ever had. It’s not enough to keep our children fed, clothed and protected in a safe home. 

But recognizing and changing my destructive character flaws so I don’t pass them onto my children, that’s tough. 

The pressure of raising little boys into wise, courageous, intelligent, kind hearted, Godly men in a world that is so twisted is no easy feat. 

It takes a determination I’ve never faced. 

I realize this message may rub some the wrong way. I just hope you see this through to the end and you hear my heart for what it’s saying rather than what it’s not saying.

This topic is prompted from a personal conviction of mine that I’m sharing and releasing through my words and thoughts. Because I don’t believe I’m the only one who needs to hear this.

Perseverance when motherhood is hard

“And not only that, but we also glory in tribulations, knowing that tribulation produces perseverance; and perseverance, character; and character, hope.” Romans 5:3-4

There has been plenty of times where I thought, wow I really blew it today I should be doing much better than this! 

I’m not talking about perfection because let’s be honest, is there such a thing? Jesus is perfect, we are not. 

I’m also not talking about living in self condemnation. Because to keep it 100; I can do better and there’s nothing wrong with recognizing that. 

Step 1. I can’t change until I acknowledge theres a problem. 

Step 2. I can’t attempt change unless I’m willing to put in the work. 

Step 3. I won’t achieve change unless I stay consistent. 

Transparency when motherhood is hard

This post is less about the lonliness, judgement, comparison, selflessness, redundancy, tears shed and sleepless nights that motherhood brings. It’s more about that sin that lingers in our lives that we don’t address.

And while mommy groups make humor out of our difficulties and is great for support and a good laugh, I’m still the type of mom who wants to grow. And in order to grow, I have to recognize.

Now I’m not one to cry over spilled milk. But I am also not one to just throw a towel over it and walk away. I make sure the milk is thoroughly cleaned up so that no stank smell is left behind. 

Likewise, when I lose self control and I snap at my son. I don’t go on and ignore it as if nothing never happened.

Rather, I admit that my flesh is weak and ask him to forgive me. I explain to him how having no self control in life can affect you in a myriad of ways. 

If we want our kids to take long hard looks in the mirror, then we have to too.

Rewriting History

What I’m trying to convey amidst my scattered emotions is this. 

Mama’s, we must stay diligent in raising our children in the way they should go. Not turning a blind eye to our sin or theirs. Rather seeking God earnestly, daily to find the strength and guidance to raise our kids in a corrupt world. 

I realize my kids have their own free will to make choices in their lives that is outside of my control. I also realize I can “almost do everything right” and they can still go wayward. I believe their future is in God’s hands, not mine.

But my goal is to allow them to grow up in a loving, God fearing home with an understanding of who they are in Christ. And to not allow them to leave our home with so much emotional & dysfunctional baggage that it hinders their future. Because, guess what, that’s what happens. 

Some of us are not a product of our upbringing and some of us are. Some of us at 40 years old are still fighting against habits formed in our youth.

And unfortunately some of us only know dysfunction and continue to live outside of God’s goodness where we’re comfortable.

What are you carrying from your childhood? Maybe anger, addiction, anxiety or perfectionism?

I have to remember that my spouse and I are my kids biggest influence in life and I want my kids to have a better future than my past. If I turn a blind eye to how my sin will affect their future then I’m doing a disservice to them. 

By the grace of God

“Now hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who was given to us.” Romans 5:5

I’m not saying we have to be perfect moms and when we fail to meet that level of perfection we beat ourselves up about it. We should absolutely live with a measure of grace towards ourselves.

I’m not here to make a list of right and wrongs pertaining to motherhood. Trust me when I tell you, I’m learning as I go. 

Truthfully, the right thing to do isn’t obvious to everyone. There are some of us so wrapped up in proclaiming to be a “mom boss” that we don’t even realize were teaching our kids to judge others through our own eyes instead of the eyes of Christ.

Maybe some of us are consumed with how the world views our outer appearance that we fail to teach our kids that Christ sees our heart.

Motherhood is hard.

Thankfully, there’s no better helper than the Holy Spirit. 

And the word of God is our compass. Look what 2 Timothy 3:16-17 says: 

“All Scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness, that the man of God may be complete, thoroughly equipped for every good work.” 

Mama, do you know how scripture and the Holy Spirit can guide you in motherhood? If not, I’d love to talk more with you, please reach out to me.

You might also like the sequel Motherhood is hard, But God or How to live your calling as a stay-at-home mom.