What are good friendships?

What are good friendships could be debatable or at least have varying answers. That’s why I’ve taken to social media to ask the question, what are qualities of a good friend. That way I’m not only sharing my perspective. But then, as always, we will compare our perspectives to Gods Word. I’ve dived in to see what the scriptures say about friendships and what actually is defined as a “good friendship”.

I believe it’s important to fight for and create good friendships. They not only involve support and love but also grace and forgiveness. We are imperfect people who shouldn’t be surprised when we unintentionally hurt one another.

Being left on read when you know they always have their phone on them, may seem insignificant, but it hurts. Or feeling unsupported. Perhaps feeling unequally yoked in a friendship where you’re making most of the effort and it’s not being reciprocated.

Maybe you’re dealing with something bigger than these examples and possibly some space is needed and boundaries set. But if your friendship is worth fighting for, then what are we waiting for?

Importance of having good friendships

First let’s talk about why having good friendships is important.

Life is not mean to be lived alone. The bible speaks on friendships, community and fellowship.

We were not created to merely exist without having someone to share in our joys and anguish alongside us. In John 15 Jesus said to “love others as I have loved you.”

It’s important to have people in our lives who listen, support and relate to us. Friends we can rely on and trust. Those who see past the judgement of our short comings because they know our hearts. Those who seek to lift us up.

We need someone to encourage and be strong for us when times get tough. To have someone who cares so much about you that when you’re sad, they are sad. When you are happy, they are happy.

A good friendship is truly a gift and not always easy to find.

People will come in and out of our lives. Some will be there for a season. Some you will stay in touch with periodically. But if you’re really lucky, you’ll be able to count your real friends on one hand. Can you relate?

Why are good friends hard to find?

It can be hard to develop lasting friendships for many reasons.

Some people don’t live up to our standards, others we drop like bad habits. Some of us are introverts and have a hard time creating deep friendships. Or maybe you don’t always vibe with everyone, we shouldn’t have to change who we are to create friendships.

We have acquaintances and surface level relationships.

Sometimes friendships fail or don’t reach their full potential due to lack of effort, pettiness or sometimes valid reasons that cause division and real pain.

Have you found that being let down by your expectations on a friend has rooted a seed of bitterness in your heart toward them?

We must hold onto our good friendships and fight for them!

Unfortunately, not everyone is good for us. There are those whom are toxic.

Even scripture warns us about who we surround ourselves with.

“Do not be deceived, evil company corrupts good habits.” 1 Corinthians 15:33

We must stand against ungodly influence that corrupts our walk with Christ and be on guard against false teachings.

With that said, even Jesus ate with sinners but he never conformed to them! We must stand firm in who we are in Christ.

Qualities of good friends

The quality I find to appreciate is someone who has love for Jesus and is led by the Holy Spirit. It may sound stereotypical for a Christian to say but this is how I know I can trust them and that their advice to me would be Godly wisdom.

I’ve had intimate moments with Christians that I’m not even close friends with because that’s how the power of God’s Spirit works.

I also appreciate a friend who is reliable. Someone I know will be there for me through something as simple as a text and through something big like prayer.

And without a doubt, I believe all relationships need forgiveness.

Here are some of the answers I got from my Instagram poll. Generosity. Sarcasm. Love. Humor. Frankness. Accountability partner. Loyalty. Sincere. Encouraging. Trustworthy. Showing up, when you’re in need, even when it’s inconvenient. Faithfulness.

But the answer that was repeated most was honesty.

People want genuine relationships and an honest friend is what others seem to find as the best quality of a good friend.

But what if your friend is too honest? We don’t always appreciate that, do we? I think we can complicate relationships based on our own internal battles. We can be jealous, insecure, offended, let down by expectations and holding grudges is poison.

Would you agree that sometimes we can sabotage our own relationships because of preconceived notions, growing at different levels, unforgiveness, disappointment, resentment, etc?

These are all signs that we need more Jesus, Amen?! Case in point ⬇️

How do you define what’s good anyway? How do you measure your moral compass? We should be measuring all that we think and do to the word of God. ⬇️

10 Bible verses on friends

“No longer do I call you servants, for a servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all things that I heard from My Father I have made known to you.” John 15:15

“The heartfelt counsel of a friend is as sweet as perfume and incense.” Proverbs 27:9

“Two are better than one, Because they have a good reward for their labor. For if they fall, one will lift up his companion. But woe to him who is alone when he falls, For he has no one to help him up.” Ecclesiastes 4:9-10

“There are “friends” who destroy each other, but a real friend sticks closer than a brother.” Proverbs 18:24

“Do you not know that friendship with the world is enmity with God? Whoever therefore wants to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God.” James 4:4

“bearing with one another, and forgiving one another, if anyone has a complaint against another; even as Christ forgave you, so you also must do.” Colossians 3:13

“Therefore comfort each other and edify one another, just as you also are doing.” 1 Thessalonians 5:11

“Anyone who withholds kindness from a friend forsakes the fear of the Almighty.” Job 6:14

“And above all things have fervent love for one another, for “love will cover a multitude of sins.” Be hospitable to one another without grumbling. As each one has received a gift, minister it to one another, as good stewards of the manifold grace of God.” 1 Peter 4:8-10

➡️“And just as you want men to do to you, you also do to them likewise.” Luke 6:31⬅️

How to be a good friend

“All Scripture is inspired by God and is useful to teach us what is true and to make us realize what is wrong in our lives. It corrects us when we are wrong and teaches us to do what is right. God uses it to prepare and equip his people to do every good work.” 2 Timothy 3:16-17

Scripture is teaching me to know God and His promises. It’s teaching me how to be a Daughter of the King, a wife, mother and a friend.