Diary of a beginner blogger.

I have been suppressing the thought to start this blog for years now. It’s so easy to fall into the trap of feeling like you’re not cut out for something that you’re being led toward. So, I bring you, my diary of a beginner blogger.

Lies we tell ourselves:

• “What if I’m not good enough”
• “What if I fail”
• “Will I ever figure it out”
• “I’ll never be as good as most successful bloggers”
• “What if i take too much time away from my family or from myself”

the list goes on and these thoughts are a trap. A synonym for the word trap is imprison.

I believe that part of growing, is having faith over your fears. I refuse to live a prisoner in my own mind. So, here I am, taking risk.

I’ve addressed the negative thoughts with positive reinforcement, such as:

• “I’ll learn along the way”
• “I am becoming who God created ME to be”, I don’t want to be just like anyone else and we should NEVER compare ourselves to others
• “Stay true to your calling” God will bless it, for others and yourself
• “Set boundaries for “working hours” so that it doesn’t take away from your other priorities”.

Should I start a blog?

Back in 2014 I wanted to start a blog, never followed through. More recently, in October 2017, we had just relocated from Brooklyn, NY to Maine (quite the transition) and I was a whopping 9 months pregnant with my 2nd son, Atlas.

I had spent an abundant amount of time online looking for advice and guidance in countless areas. For crying out loud, I had just moved for the 3rd time in 4 years. Robbie, my firstborn, had been in dual language schooling since kindergarten and now, it wasn’t offered in Maine. Additionally, I was giving birth any day, in a blizzard.  How on earth, would this Florida girl, get to a hospital in a blizzard? I couldn’t comprehend such an event.

I was wondering why I was swelling so bad, is this normal in late stages of pregnancy? You can read more about that in my post I had postpartum preeclampsia. All the while, trying to figure out new ideas to cook for dinner, organization tips, etc.

When what I believe was the Lord telling me, to start my own blog. Over the course of the next year, I continued to suppress the idea. I prayed about it and the Lord continued to lead me to the conclusion that brings me here.

How I got here.

I took a leap of faith! Hello World! This was the only way for me to break out of the prison I had set up in my mind. If I’m being honest with myself, this process is overwhelming and I don’t know what will come of it. But, I already feel free knowing that I’ve stepped out in faith & I feel excited to grow through this experience. Life is meant to be lived, fully and that looks different for everyone.

If there’s something within you, that you’ve always dreamed of, or perhaps, it’s a more recent discovery about yourself. Explore it! Don’t let life pass you by while you’re imprisoned by fear. It may or may not work out the way that you had hoped and that’s okay. You will take something away from it because we grow through new experiences, circumstances, trials and battles. We should never stop growing & transforming. That’s what is so beautiful about who you are and who you were created to be.

It hasn’t been an easy road getting here. Starting a blog is no easy feat, especially when you are computer illiterate in comparison to the way the world runs today. I had days where I was so discouraged, I walked away to mentally deflect from the thought of blogging and came back full circle to the conclusion, that this is something I needed to do. I owe it to myself, to show up and work.  Life is too short, not to do what God is calling you to do. Period. End of story.

So I start with getting my content out of my head and trusting the process. I’ve struggled with comparison and perfectionism. It’s safe to say I’ve been run over with a “to learn list” and beat myself down with negative chatter, that this is just too much. But one morning, I found hope and I haven’t looked back. The world is full of opportunity and this is mine and my hope resides there. So, day by day, God willing, I will get to where I want to be.

You might like Comparison is a trap.

I have had days where I felt like I was at the bottom of a mountain and I just couldn’t see the peak. But there have been so many great blogs that have inspired me and the few people I’ve reached out to have been so welcoming and helpful. For example, I read an email by Ruth Soukup about the fine line between inspiration and intimidation. I will choose to stay inspired and when I squint, I can see that mountain peak.

Diary of a beginner blogger concludes

This is the first thing I’ve ever done without telling my circle about first. I’ve always been someone who needed the approval of others and encouragement to step out into the unknown. This is something I need to do on my own, according to His will for me. That’s freedom!

This isn’t to say we shouldn’t ask others opinion or for advice. In this case, I decided this was one of those times that I needed to rely on my own thoughts. I am grateful that I do have a group of people in my life that I can ask for wisdom in different areas, I value them very much.

It’s easy to lose yourself when you’ve dedicated yourself to being a wife and mother. I know this isn’t the case for everyone, but it has been for me. I’ve put everyone and everything else before myself. So here I am, doing something for myself, in the raw, willing and able. God be with me and guide my fingers to be an expression of my thoughts. Amen.

I hope you’ve enjoyed diary of a beginner blogger. Every day I’m searching who God designed me to be. He has paved the road for each one of us. Do you know that God has plans for you? Seeking Godly wisdom is a great place to start.