How to Choose Love

Love, one of the most complex words in the language vocabulary. How to choose love explores “love” with biblical application. Because without biblical application, I believe our understanding of love can be askew.

There are many layers to love and I believe that if we live our lives without experiencing God’s love, then we are missing out on much.

Love is a “feel good” word for it describes things we need, desire and enjoy.

We can use the word love to describe what our five senses can identify. I love the smell of coffee, listening to the sounds of a thunderstorm, watching the sunset, the taste of chocolate and feeling my child in my arms.

Yet, we can love to swim, watch Sunday football, fly in an airplane, sing and dance. We love our family & friends.

Even the 5 love languages book tells us that we each feel loved in different ways. Love is not one dimensional.

My love for chocolate cannot be compared to my love for my husband, or child, or God. So there are many forms of this word love.

Before I go any further, I’d like to think I’ve made my point. The word love can be used to describe much.

People often google the question, what is love? We fall in and out of love, we often confuse lust with love. We can create unhealthy love for something or someone. All because we don’t really know what love is.

How many of you loved someone in your past who you thought you couldn’t live without, but later in life you realized you actually didn’t love that person?

Our emotions can cause feelings so undeniable that we equate these feelings to love. But what If I told you that love wasn’t always a feeling? Gasp.

What does the bible say about love?

The bible references love hundreds of times through many examples of love.

In fact, love comes from God and God is love. (1 John 4:7-8)

But I want to focus on a sacrificial, unmerited, gracious form of love.

The love that God displays is called agape (Greek word). Unlike the English word love, agape does not reference a brotherly love or a romantic love.

Agape love is said to be the highest form of love, originating from God.

Agape love doesn’t come natural to us but as we abide in Christ Jesus and experience the depths of His love, we too learn how to agape love.

Jesus said:

“As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love. If you keep my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commands and remain in his love. I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete.” John 15:9-11

Paul reminded us:

“But God, who is rich in mercy, because of His great love with which He loved us, even when we were dead in trespasses, made us alive together with Christ (by grace you have been saved).” Ephesians 2:4-5

We see in 1 Corinthians 13 a description of agape love from the message version of the bible. Click here for the NIV version (Love is patient, Love is kind)

Click here for the 1 Corinthians 13 printable: NIV and MSG

1 Corinthians 13:1-13 (The Message)

“If I speak with human eloquence and angelic ecstasy but don’t love, I’m nothing but the creaking of a rusty gate.

If I speak God’s Word with power, revealing all his mysteries and making everything plain as day, and if I have faith that says to a mountain, “Jump,” and it jumps, but I don’t love, I’m nothing.

If I give everything I own to the poor and even go to the stake to be burned as a martyr, but I don’t love, I’ve gotten nowhere. So, no matter what I say, what I believe, and what I do, I’m bankrupt without love.

Love never gives up.
Love cares more for others than for self.
Love doesn’t want what it doesn’t have.
Love doesn’t strut,
Doesn’t have a swelled head,
Doesn’t force itself on others,
Isn’t always “me first,”
Doesn’t fly off the handle,
Doesn’t keep score of the sins of others,
Doesn’t revel when others grovel,
Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth,
Puts up with anything,
Trusts God always,
Always looks for the best,
Never looks back,
But keeps going to the end.

Love never dies.

Inspired speech will be over some day; praying in tongues will end; understanding will reach its limit. We know only a portion of the truth, and what we say about God is always incomplete. But when the Complete arrives, our incompletes will be canceled.

When I was an infant at my mother’s breast, I gurgled and cooed like any infant. When I grew up, I left those infant ways for good.

We don’t yet see things clearly. We’re squinting in a fog, peering through a mist. But it won’t be long before the weather clears and the sun shines bright! We’ll see it all then, see it all as clearly as God sees us, knowing him directly just as he knows us!

But for right now, until that completeness, we have three things to do to lead us toward that consummation: Trust steadily in God, hope unswervingly, love extravagantly. And the best of the three is love.”

What does it mean to choose love?

When our actions are motivated by love, things such as selfishness, condemnation, judgement, anger and unforgiveness are no longer in the equation.

That person, that’s hard to love, that won’t give up their addiction, that has different views than you, love them.

Biblical love is not inclusive to those we know, love and trust. You shall love your neighbor as yourself.

“And you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind, and with all your strength.’ This is the first commandment. And the second, like it, is this: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no other commandment greater than these.” Mark 12:30-31

Biblical love is not inclusive to our demographics and ethnicity. We are all equal.

“For you are all sons of God through faith in Christ Jesus. For as many of you as were baptized into Christ have put on Christ. There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is neither male nor female; for you are all one in Christ Jesus. And if you are Christ’s, then you are Abraham’s seed, and heirs according to the promise.” Galatians 3:26-29

And it is certainly not inclusive to those that are difficult to love.

“But I say to you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you.” Matthew 5:44

“But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” Romans 5:8

Before you go:

Did you know that love was a choice that we could show through our actions? Do you believe you have to feel love in order to show love?

Remember, we can’t live how God intends for us to live without the power of the Holy Spirit.

“Love begets love. Spread love. Choose love.”

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