I don’t love you like I used to

I don’t love you like I used to

I think back to when we met 24 years ago. I admired your good looks, your confidence and character. I remember the first kiss we shared as we watched the ball drop on that tiny box t.v. and that marked the moment our real story began.

We were inseparable; the very thought of being apart was painful. You took me to senior prom and before we knew it, we were saying goodbye at the airport as you went off to bootcamp.

I can still remember driving to Parris Island with your family for your bootcamp graduation and walking around afterwards together, I was so proud of your accomplishments as butterflies filled my being with hopes and dreams of our impending plans finally about to begin.

Time was going by so slowly, at least it seemed that way, because we were young. Fast forward to our wedding, our first son, then our second son. Today, I look back over the past 24 years and I don’t know where the time has gone.

Valentine's day. Love, marriage, redemption.

Love and marriage

I remember the excitement, of starting our life together, we got married, we were moving to California & getting our 1st apartment. In the beginning, we were definitely too immature for marriage. 

We found out the hard way that as we were growing up and maturing, we were changing, we recognized that we could either learn how to grow together or we would certainly grow apart.

We’ve learned that love isn’t the only thing that keeps a marriage strong and growing.  The biggest lesson is that love isn’t only a feeling, but also an action.  We never saw what a healthy relationship looked like and after 7 years of a struggling marriage, we realized we had to learn to create that for ourselves.

Love and redemption

I wouldn’t classify our love story as a fairy tale. We have endured great pain that we have overcome. Our story is one of redemption.  We have seen one another at our best and continued to love at our worst. 

We choose to love unconditionally and that is absolutely a choice that doesn’t always feel like it comes naturally. Because of love, we learned to be patient and kind, even when we don’t feel like it. Because of love we have endured the test of time and instead of giving up when we had nothing left, we fought for our love.

Because of love, we choose to forgive. Because of love, we are selfless, putting ones needs before our own. Because of love, we respect the others feelings rather than getting defensive when they don’t align with our own. Because of love, we abide in faith and hope. Because of love, we choose truth to light our way. 

We suit one another best because when one is weak, the other is strong.  When one lacks hope, the other has great faith.  When one is sad, the other is cheerful.  When one if afraid, the other is fearless. When one is ill-tempered, the other is patient. 

We uphold one another, trust and believe in the other. I admire your patience, your faith, your laughter and joy for life, your strength, you are noble, righteous and an honest friend to others.

Mostly, I appreciate the man, husband and father you have become. I still love having you around and miss your presence when you’re away.

I don’t love you like I used to

So, when I look back over the past 24 years and I can whole heartedly say that I love you, more today, than the day I first said “I do” and I am reminded that love never fails. 

That said, is our marriage always bliss? No way. We fight and we make up.  We are not perfect; our marriage is not perfect. We really don’t have it all together, we are still human beings who hurt one another. But we are quick to recognize and rectify. We are a team with the same end goal in mind.

When I look into your eyes, I still see our future. When you hold me, it feels like home and there’s no place like home. Our story breathes success because instead of giving up, I still choose you and you still choose me.  I truly believe the best is still yet to come.  So, this Valentine’s day, my heart is yours, my future is yours. Let’s never forget our vows and continue creating our happily ever after.

Valentine's day. Love, marriage, redemption.

Valentine’s Day

A letter to your significant other is one inexpensive and meaningful way to show your love.

For more Valentine’s day gift ideas, click here!

I decided to share this letter not only as encouragement that no mater what your marriage is going through, faith can move mountains.

But also because last year, I submitted this love letter to a Valentine’s day contest and I won! I said, if I win, then I will start my blog. I did start my hills and valleys shortly thereafter with a push from corona-quarantine.

My marriage is certainly a huge part of my hills and valleys, so this love letter has a lot of meaning and I pray it blesses you.

For more on marriage click here.

Also, a tiny detail I’d like to mention. These photos of my husband and I were taken on our garage floor on our last wedding anniversary which marked 20 years. They are a perfect representation of our marriage because like the story of our marriage, the images are not perfect. But the moment in the photo was and that’s why I decided to use these images for this post.

Please share with someone you can encourage and comment below, I love to hear from you!



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